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05/01/2007: "Cheese and Bacon, Bacon and Cheese"

What's on the box: Butthole Surfers - Cough Syrup

Let me tell you why bacon and cheese should be on every sandwich ever.

It goes beyond the fact that they both taste awesome, although that is reason enough. The argument works from two directions, but I will take the most common. Every sandwich benefits from cheese. Many sandwiches depend on cheese as a main ingredient. Some just use it as a condiment. Any others that you can think of that don't have any cheese should have cheese on them. It just makes sense.

So what does this have to do with bacon? It's all about regularity. Cheese has a tendency to bind everyone up, but the fat in bacon tends to let everything slide right out. That's why it doesn't matter if you're starting with a BLT or a grilled cheese; cheese and bacon complement each other, bowel-wise.

If you don't eat cheese or bacon, for whatever reason, then you are beyond logic and can't be helped.

Now, go to BK and order up a Country Pork Deluxe with cheese and bacon (If you're on either coast, you probably can't get a Country Pork sandwich. Poor sucker.). Your bowels will thank you.